“Marriage may be made in heaven, but people are responsible for the maintenance work.” - Barbara Johnson & Christian Humorist
“It takes great courage for couples to take the step to admit they need assistance to put the spark back in their marriage,” says director of FAMSA Knysna, Chris Vermeulen.
“Most people are looking for a life partner to complete them as a person. But if we have personal issues – they become marriage/relationship issues. An individual who relies on themselves for their happiness and not relying on their partners to make them happy - make healthy, functional relationships.”
How can we prepare for marriage?
“Most of us have definite goals for marriage – house, children, friends, wealth – then what? When we have reached this there is a sense of “what now?” – there is more to marriage than this – it is keeping the romance and love alive “until death do us part” that becomes very challenging. Unlike what is portrayed in the movies – soon the romance seems to not be there anymore – how is the flame maintained?”
Mark Gungor says:
“True love doesn't follow you like a little puppy that is constantly there. It's actually more like a greased pig! You have to chase after it and pursue it. You have to run it down and tackle it and when it gets away, you go after it one more time. You may finally get a hold of it for a while, but then the little rascal can slip away and you have to chase it down again.”
FAMSA Knysna presents a Prepare and Enrich Programme. A 5-session course to prepare couples for marriage and to enrich their relationship. Contact the office for further information for further information says Vermeulen.
What does the programme cover?
The structured course covers six key relationship areas:
- Exploring strengths and growth areas
- Improving communication skills
- Resolving conflict
- Exploring family-of-origin issues
- Preparing budgets and financial plans
- Developing personal, couple and family goals.
How does the programme work?
The couple individually complete a questionnaire covering the basic areas of their relationship, e.g.:- Marriage Expectations (Prepare, Prepare MC, Prepare CC)
- Marriage Satisfaction (Enrich / Mate)
- Personality Issues
- Communication and Assertiveness
- Conflict Resolution
- Financial Management
- Leisure Activities
- Sexual Expectations / Relationship
- Family and Friends
- Relationship Roles
- Spiritual Beliefs
The principles of couples counselling
- The relationship is the client
- Love is a decision
- Conflict is growth waiting to happen
- Marriage is the therapy
- Marriage is not a problem to be solved – it is an adventure to be lived
- 80%-20% principle - 20% is the issue itself, while 80% is what the person makes of it.
FAMSA Knysna offers this counselling for couples and personal growth courses to assist individuals to manage themselves and life more wisely.
Email: knysna@famsa.org.za
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