LIFESTYLE NEWS - Young people’s mental health has seldom been more fragile, cautions Glynis Horning, author of Waterboy: Making sense of my son’s suicide (Bookstorm), ahead of World Suicide Prevention Day on 10 September, and the third anniversary of the loss of her son at 25.
“The latest Mental State of the World Report, the largest and most comprehensive global mental well-being study, drawing on 223 000 respondents in 34 countries, found ‘a profound generational decline in young people in every country’.
"Nearly half had mental health issues in the ‘distressed’ or ‘struggling’ ranges. Fewer than one in five had ‘thriving’ or ‘succeeding’ scores.” This, she says, is in stark contrast to studies before 2010.
“Interestingly, of the potential causal factors, the researchers said the rapid growth of cellphones and the internet was the one consistent trend across all countries after 2010. Phones and the net are so great to share information and make connections, yet so destructive used for fake news, social comparison, shaming and cyberbullying.
“And since the Covid pandemic, children have had to deal with a raft of other stressors – from fear of the virus itself, to its economic costs, as parents and caregivers lost jobs, and parental stress erupted in what President Cyril Ramaphosa has dubbed another pandemic – of gender-based violence and child abuse, fed by escape in alcohol and drugs.
“All this, at a time when schools, usually places of reassuring structure, routine and predictability, became an additional source of stress, as teaching largely migrated online, and many battled to access it due to financial and other constraints.”
This year, Horning says, while most youngsters are finally back in class, some who dropped out have not returned. “And many of those back are estimated to have lost out on months of formal learning, and the social interactions and play that are equally important for a child’s development.”
The award-winning Durban-based writer, who talks at schools, colleges and events to help destigmatise mental health problems, urges parents, teachers and young people themselves to examine their values.
“What message are we giving young people? That we celebrate and love them unconditionally for who they are – or for what we think they should be? For the academic or sports accolades and social media ‘likes’ and material bling they accumulate? Sure, we want them to do well, but are we sometimes pushing too hard? Expecting too much? When is enough enough? When are THEY enough?”
Horning says it’s important to know the signs of depression and anxiety – low mood, irritability, changes in weight and sleep, recklessness, withdrawal, fatigue, difficulty thinking clearly – but also to be aware that high functioning depressives don’t show signs and present a calm face to the world: “My son even walked the dogs with me the night he died.”
If you suspect a problem, she says it’s crucial to speak about it. “Ask if anything’s bugging them or is on their mind. The South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG), emphasises that you should never be scared to ask someone if they’re thinking of hurting themselves. You won’t be giving them ideas – you’ll be giving them a chance to talk and share what they’re feeling.
“Signs of anxiety or depression that last longer than two weeks or interfere with school, varsity or home life may signal major depression or anxiety disorder.
"Reach out to your medical professional or to SADAG (Mental Health Helpline 0800 456 789, Suicide Crisis Helpline 0800 567 567 or SMS 31393).
“Treatment is constantly evolving, and therapy, often in tandem with medication, can make a significant, even life-saving difference. But sometimes, sadly, it just can’t. And some of us have to live with that. As I write in Waterboy, ‘the hole gapes still. It always will. And I fall in periodically’.”
Waterboy: Making sense of my son’s suicide by Glynis Horning is published by Bookstorm. It is available from all good bookstores and online at Loot, Takealot and Amazon. Horning’s royalties go to SADAG.
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