KNYSNA NEWS - This week marks International Marriage Week (1 to 7 September), a time when many couples will be tying the knot, but while most of us spend a lot of time, money and effort to prepare a dream wedding that no-one will forget, but how much time do we put into preparing for the marriage – that "till death do us part" promise we make to each other?
Humorist Barbara Johnson once said, “Marriage may be made in heaven, but people are responsible for the maintenance work.” It takes great courage for couples to take the step to admit they need assistance to put the spark back in their marriage.
Most people are looking for a life partner to complete them as a person. But if we have personal issues, they become marriage/relationship issues. An individual who relies on themselves for their happiness and not on their partners makes healthy, functional relationships.
How can we prepare for marriage?
Most of us have definite goals for marriage: house, children, friends, wealth… Then what? There is more to marriage than this – it is keeping the romance and love alive “till death do us part” that becomes very challenging. Unlike what is portrayed in the movies, soon the romance seems to not be there anymore. How is the flame maintained?
Marriage expert Mark Gungor says, “True love doesn't follow you like a little puppy that is constantly there. It's actually more like a greased pig! You have to chase after it and pursue it. You have to run it down and tackle it and when it gets away, you go after it one more time. You may finally get a hold of it for a while, but then the little rascal can slip away and you have to chase it down again.”
Famsa Knysna presents a Prepare and Enrich programme, which is a five-session course to prepare couples for marriage and to enrich their relationship.
What does the programme cover?
The structured course covers six key relationship areas: exploring strengths and growth areas; improving communication skills; resolving conflict; exploring family-of-origin issues; preparing budgets and financial plans; and developing personal, couple and family goals.
How does the programme work?
The couple individually completes a questionnaire covering the basic areas of their relationship, such as marriage expectations; marriage satisfaction; personality issues; communication and assertiveness; conflict resolution; financial management; leisure activities; sexual expectations/relationship; family and friends; relationship roles; and spiritual beliefs.
Famsa Knysna also offers couples counselling and coaching where we work on the relationship and assist the couples to communicate with one another. We encourage the couples to seek to understand their partner rather than working out a reaction to what their partner is saying.
Principles of couples counselling:
- The relationship is the client.
- Love is a decision.
- Conflict is growth waiting to happen.
- Marriage is the therapy.
- Marriage is not a problem to be solved – it is an adventure to be lived.
- The 80/20% principle – 20% is the issue itself, while 80% is what the person makes of it.
Phone Famsa Knysna to set up an appointment, on 044 382 5129, Plettenberg Bay 044 533 0515, or email knysna@famsa.org.za/plettenberg@famsa.org.za.
Article: Supplied
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