BUSINESS NEWS - As the world marks 16 Days of Activism against Gender-Based Violence (GBV), our focus tends to be on the physical and emotional scars of abuse.
However, there is another unseen form of abuse that often serves as the groundwork for deeper control: financial abuse.
Financial control and infidelity are not just relationship problems, but devious and underhand tools used to strip an individual of their independence, dignity, and ability to leave a harmful situation.
Recognising the signs of financial abuse is the first step to empowering yourself to escape this trap.
However, it’s important to distinguish between normal disagreements about budgeting and deliberate, manipulative secrecy or control.
Financial abuse, which can start with financial infidelity (when one partner in a relationship hides or lies about money, assets, or debts), aims to create dependency and powerlessness.
Here are 7 signs that financial secrecy has crossed the line into financial abuse:
- The information lockdown: This includes instances where your partner refuses to share account passwords, PINs, basic income information or locks away financial documents. The impact of this is that the other partner has no visibility into the couple’s overall financial health, creating vulnerability.
- Allowance or restriction: Another sign of financial abuse is where one partner dictates how every cent earned is spent or requires you to ask for funds for basic necessities, even if you contribute financially. This removes your personal agency and sees you being treated as a dependant, not an equal.
- Hidden debt: Hidden debt occurs when you discover that significant, unauthorised debt, such as loans, credit cards or mortgages has been taken out in your name or the partnership’s name without your knowledge. The problem with this is that you can be legally liable for this debt, which can destroy your credit score and future security.
- Career sabotage: A major red flag is a partner who actively discourages you from working, forces you to resign from your job or makes it impossible for you to obtain further education. This ensures you don’t have an independent income, trapping you financially.
- Controlling the savings: Watch out for a partner who forbids you from having a separate, personal bank account or drains any savings account you manage to establish. The effect of this is that it removes your safety net, preventing you from accessing funds in an emergency.
- Forged signatures and fraud: Documents that are signed in your name without your consent – or that you are forced to co-sign under duress – are also signs of financial abuse. Not only is this illegal, but it binds you to financial obligations that you did not agree to.
- Isolating you from support: Lastly, watch out for a partner who discourages you from talking to friends, family or professional advisers about your finances. This prevents you from getting the advice, perspective, and support needed to recognise and escape the abuse.
If you recognise these patterns, know that you are not alone, and this behaviour is never your fault. The silver lining is that there is a way to escape this form of abuse.
The first step is to acknowledge the reality of your situation. The next step is to create a plan for financial independence. This needs to be done with extreme care and discretion.
You can speak to a professional financial adviser who can provide you with guidance on how to break the chains of financial abuse and regain control of your economic well-being.
If you, or someone you know, is experiencing abuse, please reach out to POWA (People Opposing Women Abuse). This NGO offers free counselling, legal services, shelter, and support to victims of gender-based violence, including financial abuse. You can call +27 11 591 6803 for help.
Article: Ralene Grobler, Financial Adviser at Momentum Financial Planning
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